she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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