apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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