I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize