wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.