Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck