Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize