I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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