It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
