Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize