If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Porn is love you can see.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
