70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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