Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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