So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize