maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
