Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
