Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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