i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
