Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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