I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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