I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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