I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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