someone get that fucking seahorse.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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