i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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