What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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