No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I need moral support for this bender
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
