Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
