wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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