I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize