I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
