you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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