you have to choose: penises or morals?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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