it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.