do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
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I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.