i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my being single is dangerous.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
40s are totally the cure
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.