Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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