I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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