I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize