Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize