the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
