I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
