Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
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We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
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After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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