gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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