Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I will be naked everywhere
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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