Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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