Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Randomize