He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
