Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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