I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
