So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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