I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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