Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize