No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize