This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
